Standardization, at the education system

There has been a pattern that I have noticed while at school… where after the first midterm, the professors were instructing students, that they should drop out of the course if they scored low. Implying that students with low scores are simply not going to be able to improve or get any benefit from the course. Also on a personal point, I recall one of my instructors painting a dreadful picture, that if you do not score well in your initial first/second year courses, it is going to greatly impact your chances towards getting into grad school. This may be true, but hearing this I thought: hmm interesting, why would an instructor give a shit about how students scored – do the instructors care for their students in terms of seeing that they actually receive a sufficient education? Or is it that these instructors are pursuing their self-interest to maintain a certain class-grade average, which would reflect as them, being good enough to not lose their position or job as instructor at the University?

Based on my personal research on test standardization — I found that indeed instructors have an obligation to meet within certain standard, to be considered worthy of holding their position as instructor. Depending on a list of circumstances, these instructors are dealing with certain amount of pressure. This is the result of the (allowed) competitive nature, of our Economic system, which the education system falls under. For example: in order for the University to receive funding from the government, it requires to meet certain guidelines. Its business as usual with massive advertising campaigns going on — to get as many people as possible to commit and pay money. While even though there are not enough instructors and classroom to create an environment which is actually concerned about educating the masses. It is evident and expected that not everyone should have a chance at being educated. No money means no education, simple as that.

The effect that this is having on the masses is absolutely despicable, to say the least. I mean this is precisely where the equal money / equal education solution will practically do wonders.

Do your research; it is your responsibility to make this world a better place for yourself as well as others.

http://equalmoney.org/

http://desteni.co.za/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

2011
06/30
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Do All Men Pay For Sex?

Do All Men Pay For Sex?

In this current money system everyone is indirectly paying for sex, one way or another. For instance, look at the whole thing about dating. Who goes on a date without expecting to spend money?  Sometimes the expenses are split evenly between both parties involved or it is one way. In conventional ‘western society’, it is usually the man who foots the bill, for let’s say a dinner date. And generally, women will accept this and depending on how much the man spends, it usually results to the women favourably taking note of the fact, unconsciously. For one, the man’s spending power displays to the women a level of financial stability/power — which for the women means ‘security’. Security is what all want in a world system where you never know if you will have enough to make ends meet. So you are always seeking and attempting to get a break. And this is of course what is accepted in this patriarchal system we currently have.

Now why will Women really decide to go out on a date with a man in the first place? One of the reasons women go on dates is to find their potential partner, someone to help them in situating themselves in their placement in society – which currently means someone with Money or earning potential thereof. Seemingly Women considered ‘smart’, ‘educated’ or ‘experienced’ — tend to operate this way. Women, who are considered uneducated, would go for a man for emotional reasons (‘love’) or have sex with him for that matter. Both of these aforementioned reasons: emotional and security are reasons based on fear and are clearly irresponsible.

Without currency there is no (electrical) current to energize the relationship. The magnetism that is required to keep the two together requires energy in the form of electrical current. In other words, the currency is the electricity which keeps the energy flowing enough to permit a working relationship. There needs to be enough energy generated to result in a wonderful explosion of bliss (the orgasm).

So tell me, who is directly or indirectly participating within the solicitation of sex?  Everyone, well at least every man within a conventional relationship is doing it, unconsciously. Take into consideration how sex is the initial point of activating one to seek to form a relationship and be apparently completed, in the first place. Without effective self-direction one is basically just following precisely into this design of soliciting sex. How do you stop this? Click the desteniiprocess link below.

Having a sexual desire for another based on fear of survival or to satisfy any minds projection is only regenerating the mind-consciousness system. In other words, it is only self-enslavement or pseudo completion = seeking a momentary sense of satisfaction. Only resulting to self-depletion and then again, seek/desire over and over again – attempting to sustain the unsustainable. This type of behaviour causes serious stagnation in one’s process/movement in terms of actually getting relevant work done. In other words this causes one to suppress self and eventually go into depression.

Women in society actually spend a lot of effort and time ‘marking-up’ their value – to attract men. Making sure they get the right hairstyle, clothes, and associations in order that they may attract the ‘right’ (financially stable) man in their life. This is still going on despite studies (of which I do not have a reference to) that have shown more and more women becoming less dependent on financial security from a man. But then from that perspective you have a role reversal, wherein men are the subjects of financially fortunate women. The issue still remains, because in this current system there is just not enough for everyone, equally. This is why you seldom see real attraction between a man and a woman – from a starting point of actual/mutual support and enjoyment. Personally I have known cases of women who will marry for money, while practicing infidelity. There is actually a dating site which caters to women in this aforementioned predicament called: Ashley madison.

So this blog is to not in any way support or endorse paying for sex, it is simply one example outlining what is actually the motivating factor in our current money system.  So what do we do about this problem? Endorse an Equal Money system, go to the site (http://equalmoney.org/) investigate and subscribe for the release of the Equal money system book. Study desteniIprocess and learn about self, the key to real freedom.

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://desteni.co.za/

http://equalmoney.org/

2011
05/30
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Government As Protection, While Simultaneously The Threat

 

Firstly as fundamental common-sense: what does it actually mean when one believes he/she requires protection from government? Through sufficient investigation within the desteniIprocess, one will discover that it implies that they are in fact rendering themselves powerless – abdicating self-responsibility to an organization while tacitly accepting an inferior position. This is actually what is going on when the ‘commoner’/’citizen’ or person believes he/she requires protection from an exterior source of ‘power’.

To govern is to be self-responsible; to direct or control self – to operate functionally as a human being (i.e., to live according to fundamental principles of life). To not cause harm directly or indirectly. This is each natural person’s responsibility. After all, if you do not direct yourself, you will experience painful consequences, for example: lacking the ability to attain basic necessities to live stable within society. Moreover you are in fact acting irresponsibly and contrary to life, like a foreign/ cancerous cell invading within the body. Ask yourself:  Who is the real terrorist, and how is it that so many people identify with or react to, stories of potentially dangerous foreign invaders? As within so without…

In all actuality, everyone is already governing themselves, regardless whether they are doing so effectively/consciously or not. In terms of the law of the land; potentially efficient self-governing is initially dependent upon your status in society — which essentially means the socio-economic position you were born into –based on your nationality. Unfortunately many are vastly disenfranchised at birth and subjected to slave status. Yes, poor unfortunate, forgotten ‘souls’; basically left to be at the disposal of the few fortunate ones, with all the money/power in this world – the less than ten-percent of the world’s population.  Power is concentrated to the few through generations of consolidated knowledge, which translates into ‘higher status’.

Government organization is in the business of selling ‘protection’; it is like an insurance company.  What is the government protecting you from? Well partly in the case of the US (corporation) for instance: the citizens are being protected from potential invaders, in the form of ‘phantom terrorists’. Now, who owns the US government (business)? Answer: The so called, ‘elite’, in the realm of the one percentile. The top one percentile has the power vested in them (through bloodline) to manipulate many — utilizing the government organization as a means for accumulating/sustaining wealth and power.

Many people aspire to someday elevate their societal status, so that they can perhaps secure a dominant position, as far as their life-style goes. Except these many people do not realise that the game is rigged and all the players have already been chosen, so despite their efforts there position has been set (see documented proof within Desteni I process regarding pre-programmed lives). Have a look for instance at so many people aspiring to be famous entertainers only to end up as a fan — thus fuelling the illusion of fame/flame which is designed to be available for very few. The fans (fanatics) are literally blowing up the ego of the few while unconsciously subjecting themselves to limitation.

The education system, a sub-organization of Government, which is run by the ‘one percentile’, by way of bribery – is supposedly how a person of lower socio-economic rank, develops to a more rewarding/privileged position in society. Keep in mind that there are limited professional positions available to be filled. So that means it is expected that many will be forced to result to remaining at a lower-rank status. This creates reasons and justifications for deceit in all spectrums of society. For example, the increased level of competition turns into a disregard for effectively training representatives and thus the competency to appropriately fill professional positions – for the best interest of all (the public).

 

This government organization works through coercion, playing along with the irresponsible attitude of the people. And because the people do not have a sense of self-direction, the government acts as the enforcer. This is like the polarised relationship between a ‘dominatrix’ (sometimes referred to as ‘Governess’) and a ‘submissive’ … wherein the submissive expresses a perverse addiction to pain through allowing to be dominated physically, to get a sense of satisfaction and relief from not having to direct self.

The way to fix this problematic progression towards corruption, within any and all nations is: to adopt and implement an Equal Money System. Yes, for all who have not heard of this extremely simplistic while historical movement, I implore you to research what an Equal Money System entails. This is the answer anyone with the slightest concern of the current state of our world is looking for. Eureka! Desteni has identified the solution. There are answers within the Desteni research (Desteni I Process), which will permit you clear perspective of how you have not been able to identify the solution: Equal Money for all, including how one may realign oneself to the principle of life: Equality and oneness.

Let’s accept Equal money as what’s best for all to be the foundation of all nations. Real democracy can finally be realised, because there is actually real equality and oneness instituted, not the concept of equality within an economic system which is driven by competition – exploitation of life for a sense of pseudo satisfaction. With an equal money system in place, all humans, animals and plants are considered equal status — equal and one with life. Real status cannot be sold, won, or taken away (an unalienable birthright status) — is in fact the underlying essence of all that is within and of existence. Equal and one in status, nationality, race etc.

Go to following links:

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://desteni.co.za/

http://equalmoney.org/

http://ayiko.wordpress.com/

2011
05/29
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Equal life System / Equal Money System?

Equal money is a framework to be put in place, as a ‘bridge’ so to speak, to allow humanity to have a fair/equal access to the world’s resources. Equal money is the answer to world poverty, world criminality, world warfare, etc. essentially everything that lies under the umbrella of abuse. A practical, working and fully functional institution, for the first time ever…

The equal money system splits into two parts. Part one is the basic life necessities, covering namely: food, shelter, education and health-care – what’s referred to as ‘the four pillars of sustenance’, are to be afforded to all children born into this world whatever – from birth till death. Part two consists of a credit earning system, which is an equal payment for working within the system, which will support and sustain the functioning of the basic-life necessities. This is done through utilizing the means for which distributing resources is most efficiently done. And we all know currently that money is the medium evidently accepted globally.

Within the credit earning section, all beings will be obligated to participate within a labour conscription period, for four years. The labour will be specific work that is imperative in order that the greater system will run most efficiently. (more on this @ EqualMoney.org)

For more information on the workings (which it is a working process) of the equal life system, specifically coined by Desteni as Equal Money System, please visit this site: EQUALMONEY.ORG

The only place on the planet where a real solution for world change is actually being realized…

Keep in mind that this is an inevitable reality. So I suggest you invest in what’s best for all — for you will surely receive much benefit in doing so.  Allow yourself to join and actively support in this spectacular movement or sadly remain on that fence, within a failing attempt to do something to apparently alleviate you from self-inflicted misery.

2011
02/17
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An update: stopping fear as motivator

I would like to take this moment to write an update of my process – how I am experiencing myself lately. What I would like to talk about specifically is the point of taking a stronger approach in terms of my process application. I mean that I will be tightening-up my application, making adjustments including: doing more blogging, vlogging — being more visible. What prompted me to make these considerations were a few videos I recently watched on the (Desteni) forum… Videos specifically pertaining to Desteni having less tolerance for those who are essentially being lazy within their application, on the forum and overall participation.

While watching and listening to the videos about forum participation becoming stricter and not tolerating lazy participants, I had a reaction. Within my mind I defined myself as not participating as effectively as I could for myself. In other words I felt moved in a way that made me consider applying myself more. I felt that I am not utilizing the support available efficiently – that I can ‘kick it up a notch’.

This brought up an interesting point for me. The point having to do with: how I have the tendency to wait for some exterior conflict or exterior event to take place, before I take self-responsibility. Like for instance a child waiting for the parent to use intimidation tactics to get the child to act in a particular way.

Now when I look at the world and society at large I can see that this behaviour pattern is existent within majority of human beings. There has been much study conducted of human behaviour, through testing on live animals and human beings. The findings of such studies have revealed one of many things: human beings react to fear. Fear can be used to motivate the human to perform a specific way. All human beings are subject to fear. It is the fear of survival that is the only purpose human beings have to live – nothing else. Not ‘love’, a better society, better living conditions, or better things, but the fear of death.

Covert government agencies have used this fact to manipulate people within society at large = by emphasizing on this point of fear as motivator. This is within what is called ‘shock doctrine’. Social engineering tactics are used to manipulate public perception and thus public policy. To ultimately only consider the few rich elite while the many are completely disregarded. Ultimately resulting in maintaining the status quo — the current capitalistic system.

I realized that I am still operating within this behaviour pattern of moving to/from fear, thus I am a subject to/of the current system. This clearly indicates that I am not taking self-responsibility, but rather giving into self-interest to be scared – to experience an energetic movement (generating adrenaline) to give me reason to live/move. This is sad that I would require a reason to live – and to have this reason be abuse.

When I look at the current state of this world – I see much disaster going on. Disasters such as poverty, environmental catastrophes, mass enslavement, abuse etc. All this going on and human beings are mostly desensitized to it. This means given the current behaviour pattern of human beings, it will require much more destruction, at increasing levels to cause enough alarm for the human as a race, to move and take responsibility. Before the majority of human beings will realize what the fuck we are doing, and decide to do things differently. Maybe then deciding to no longer rely on fear in the form of shocking occurrences to be the reason behind living.

How much more suffering and atrocities must we endure before we decide to take a stand? Will we get to the point where it will be too late?

I am herein taking a stand to stop this requirement to seek exterior conflict in the form of fear as a reason to move myself. Till here no further! I allow myself to take small, accumulating steps to insure that I am operating as a self-responsible individual. I will walk this way until I become prolific within my regular application. Then I may become an example which will connect with others who are doing the same and together we will lead as a greater example, for all the ones who are not able to.

I stop believing in my destiny and allow myself to act and be it instead.

I stop believing in Desteni and allow myself to be Desteni Equal and One.

I stop self-interest to allow fear as motivator.

2010
12/25
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Participating with people within the matrix

So I attended a staff party, a couple of days ago and some interesting points came up. I have not attended any parties for at least a year and a half. SO going to this one of coarse I knew that i would have to face points regarding for instance (self) judgment.

I decided to agree to attend the party in order to face myself within it. In other words I wanted to test myself in terms of seeing what reactions may arise. So this party was held at the home of my employer of the job that I am currently working part-time at. It turned out to be quite the typical house party, including things such as loud music and alcohol. It has been a while since I have been in the company of people drinking and dancing etc. — all that is done within party’s.

I made it a point to notify my employer that I do not drink and that I do not stand for drinking because of the abuse that is associated with drinking. I explained that I will attend this party for the simple reason that it is to extend or ‘solidify’ our agreement from an employer worker bases. It seemed rather  too easy for me to just decline the invitation and not attend. I challenged myself for not wanting to experience myself within this world with people within my world. I should be able to stand as myself no matter what or with whomever I am participating with. This will assist me on how can I participate with people within my world without compromising myself.

Well in the past I would easily allow myself to give-in and just do what is being done within my environment. Usually just playing along trying to get the approval of those around me.

Putting myself out there so to speak, by taking up on the chance to participate with people within my world while upholding my stance, can be supportive. I can learn to develop towards having a unwavering presence from an equality perspective to bring about world equality in fact. This must happen regardless.

So while at the party there was points that came up with regards to drinking and sex/relationship to name a few. I managed to stay within breath throughout — many thoughts were coming up. Since I have deliberately avoided partcipating within party’s I have suppressed some of these thoughts that were coming up… of which I still require to go into further investigating through writing. A lot of memories came up about when I use to participate within the partying scene.

I was challenged as to my stance in terms of what I am accepting and allowing. I witnessed some abusive acts while at this party. Especially after people started becoming drunk. So I had to question myself as to whether I was condoning this or not. My agreement to attend was completely within the starting-point of extending my relationship/agreement with my employer and co-workers. This is something that is required in most cases in the matrix.

I have had talks regarding Equality with my employer a few times before. He has his beliefs, one of them being, a firm belief in individuality — although he seemed able to agree with the idea of the equal money system (but of coarse it is ones action rather than words that must be taken into account). I explained equal money to him when I first started working with him, as part of my letting him no where I stand, so that I can set a bases for myself… I need not bother myself with how others respond to equal money, my ‘focus’ is to stand within myself to do whats necessary to change myself. I am learning more and more how to live as myself honestly managing myself in equality terms accordingly.

It is simple to just block someone who is not interested in equality within the world of the web, but in real-time with people physically, it is no so easy. I mean I cannot just block a co-worker or boss, I have to work with them to earn money. So I have been finding this point in relation to abusers within my world to be a learning process. Meaning, how I conduct myself without compromising myself and not tolerating any abuse that I see others participating within. Usually it is just to bringing it back to myself to check what my reactions are towards what I am seeing. this way I assist myself by flagging the point and without exterior blame and judgment I can sort the point out within myself until reaction stops.

I obviously am still participating within abusive patterns my self, so the point of support within being around ‘non-destonians’ can be just as effective as being around ‘destonians’. One can actually utilize participating with people within their daily activities: work and school to assist and support self to become stable within participating with people who have not yet come to the initial realization of themself as an abuser of life.

2010
12/13
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Fullfilment? (Full-of-ill-men)

Human beings designed to take basic support (food, shelter, education) for granted and instead desire to have more:

Having looked at the current world and seeing the billions of people not having access to basic resources required — how is it that a person with basic resources can still experience thyself to be in an unfortunate position?

Even while one has access to living a more-than decent life, one still believe oneself to have nothing — a lack of fulfillment. When this point of non-fulfillment is investigated an interesting point is revealed: there is no such thing as ‘fulfillment’ from the point of desiring. Fulfillment is no more or less than an idea. This idea is a part of, if not the design of consciousness – the constant cycling of want/need/desire.

It’s rather ‘strange’ how the ‘wealthiest’ (those with more than their fair share) will still experience this wanting/needing/desiring, more and more and more. In actuality for example while having access to food shelter clothes healthcare and so on, but will still experience momentary thoughts of self-dread – believing that if I just had this or that, it will be all good… This complex is often greatly neglected. It is a fascinating point that many will not realize this peculiarly-limiting pattern – not able to recognize how one keeps chasing this insubstantial point called ‘fulfillment’.

Anyone claiming that they are living a fulfilling life, is a fucking lie.

What is ‘fulfillment’ really, and how can it actually exist? ‘Fulfillment’ can only exist when all beings in existence is given full consideration to be worthy of life. Wherein all Human beings are considered worthy of receiving full access to the basic / required resources to live in this world… Full-filling the requirements to sustain an ever flourishing world for all, including: All Forms Life-forms within and of existence.

Fulfillment is = without desire. Either you are ‘full’ or you are non-full. Essentially, within this world currently, not a single one is fulfilled. The fact that so many do not have access to the bare minimum indicate (equal and one) that none are full and will in fact not be full until all are equally full.

Nuru

2010
12/02
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The abused become abuser.

I would like to share here today, pertaining specifically to how I created myself as an abuser.

There was a period in my life, (prior to encountering Desteni)  where I was attempting to heal myself, under pretence of believing myself to have been a ‘victim of child abuse’. During childhood I experienced brutal beatings from my parents as ‘punishment’. I have memories of my Father for example using extension cords/cables to lash me with and my Mother using metal coat hanger.

A memory that comes-up is when I was seven, I got caught stealing at a department store downtown. I was apprehended by a department loss-prevention officer, whom I believed was a cop at the time. It was my friend Daryl and I who got caught. Daryl was in the seventh grade and I was in the third. I blamed me for us getting caught because I left item packages everywhere, which a store clerk found and linked to us. Well, while in the officer’s headquarters, in intimidating interrogation fashion, I was handcuffed and told that I can possibly go to jail, and I would not go to jail if I informed my parents about what had happened. I was given a letter to hand to my parents which explained the incident and so I was let go.

I got home and handed my father the letter. My father was happy to receive the letter under the impression that it was just another letter from school. I was terrified about what he was going to do to me, so immediately after giving him the notice I went to try and sleep, I could not bare the fear and worry within me — anticipating how much pain I was going to experience by my father. Sure enough, shortly after giving my father the notice, my father came storming into my bedroom, infuriated. He proceeded to drag me off of my bed, and I was then given numerous lashes of whippings, with the extension cord. I do not recall much details beyond that point.

The next morning I had school, I woke up with marks on my body from the lashing. Now, my punishment was not over yet, I still had to face my Mother, who was working the night before and had just arrived home that morning. I was called into her bedroom, after being questioned about the theft incident; I was suddenly lashed with a metal hanger on top of the lashings I had received the night before by my father.

I was then off to school, expected to just continue with my day. At school it turns out that the officer had contacted my school and so I was called-in to be spoken to by a man and women. There I was questioned about my experience regarding the theft incident. I was not in any state of stability at all; I spoke honestly about what had happened, even explaining details about how my parents had ‘punished’ me, still with large welts on my body. I later held this memory with me and had lots of resentment towards my parents about it. A few months later my parents were contacted and interviewed by two social-service agents. I do not know what resulted in my parents meeting the social services. I do know that my older sister was blamed for it.

Some years after that while I was in my teen years, I spoke about the incident with my Mother, and to my surprise she did not remember her part in it. She did happen to recall the social-service agents though, up until that point she had no idea I was behind the reason of them visiting us at home.

This particular memory (as well as several others like it) was ingrained in my mind — I played it out vividly within my mind, for years. Of course the physical abuse by my father continued until late in my teens. I finally, about a year and a half ago applied forgiveness and let it all go completely — must now walk the residual outflows within self-responsibility.

I would like to point out the fact that I for many years made a victim of myself, due to the fact of having gone through such abusive experiences. I realized recently that this victim mentality permeated throughout many various experiences in my life. I have recently realized that I have become the abuser by holding onto such a justification of being a ‘victim’. This justification has caused a condition of myopia (short-sightedness) — not seeing myself in terms of abusing others, giving myself the permission or license to be abusive towards life and particularly others, because in memory I am abused and thus the victim (not ever abuser). I realize now that this incident of me being abused is a memory (insubstantial at that); I am no longer being abused here in this moment.  However, by holding onto this memory of being abused, I actually perceive my ‘reality’ according to abuse. I therefore result acting-out according to this perception of abuse. I see how one develops to becoming an abuser… It’s fucked because it appears that this memory of abuse is required to be held onto, so that way one will apparently not experience abuse — as a way to protect self. When actually by holding onto abusive memories as resentment, you most certainly will directly experience the abuse, either as the abuser or the victim.

So the reason for me having been born into a situation where as a child I am abused, is not because my parents alone that is to blame. It is rather all of humanity for accepting and allowing a system to exist where children are abused by adults because circumstances of lack, ignorance, resentment, fear etc. Meaning, this is precisely how the patterns of abuse continue for generations after generations without change. A child experiences abuse (while experiencing this abuse, actually programs self to become an abuser); grows-up abuses their children and so on.

There must be change in the structure of our institutions in this world, if we are to stop child abuse — starting with the self. Until then we are all participating as abuser and abused. The solution that I have been applying is simply stopping participation within playing ‘victim’ and playing ‘abuser’. Although at moments I fall, I just rather continue in every moment to practice breathing, applying self-forgiveness, writing, whatever. In every moment I am giving value to life rather than memories of any kind; ‘good’ or ‘bad’. For any participation of any kind of thought related, image based and feelings-associated shit must stop – or else one is bound to subject oneself to a most compromising position/consequence.

Thank you

Nuru

2010
12/01
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Loan infraction

I am looking at the word infraction, as in loan infraction on one’s credit report. This word infraction means the following: breach, infringement, violation and in medical terminology the word can be used as: “an incomplete fracture of a bone.”

Now let’s take for example a being that has an infraction on their credit report and is attempting to ‘fix-it’ in order to receive further funding.

First of all let’s look at how the system works. I will use the analogy of a cable circuit. An infraction is like an electrical cord that has been cut – the flow of the electrical current (currency) is no longer there when the cords has been cut or in this case let’s say it has been fractured.

What caused this fracture? There had to be some deliberate action/inaction or resistance, which caused the fracture. Take for example you have a being who establishes a loan-agreement – contract law implies she/he is willing to pay back the loan at a disclosed future date.

Okay, so the electric current (currency) is flowing from the lender or system to the being. So now the being has ‘used-up’ this currency (energy) and it is now time to return the ‘flow of current’ back to the system. So let’s look at this: the source of this currency started with the physical being —then the system considers the being and gives him/her debit — the current-(CY) moves back towards the being in/as debit (which is debt) so now the being has to continue this (by agreeing to pay the debt) exchange and keep the current flowing.

The being now ends up not being able to pay-back the debt, she/he defaults (is the Fault) which therefore = causes an infraction because the connection has been fractured/broken. This being is now disregarded and no longer has any ‘flow of currency’ coming in his/her direction.

So what does the being do? Well this particular being has a connection…  another source = their parents. The parent has a connection — a flow of currency with the system and this being is able to maintain them-self by feeding off the parent(s). This being is now totally dependent on the parent(s).

After a while this being becomes dissatisfied with feeding-off and receiving currency to maintain itself from the parents. This is due to it being an increasingly limited and irresponsible way of ‘living.’

So one day this being decides that she/he would like to re-establish connection with the system — that which facilitates the flow of currency. She/he decides to opt for another loan. She/he finds that they cannot receive required funding/currency to establish connection with the system. The credit report has a record of infraction/breach where this being did not and still did not repay or ‘mend’ if you will. The being has to establish trust with the system , so then she/he can sever the connection they have with the parent (which by the way is a back door excuse to remain dependant and complacent) and be fully/directly connected to/with the system, and thus become self-responsible.

What caused this infraction in the first place? 1) The being was under false pretence about the loan – which is largely a lack of education— basic math; 1+1=2. The being designed and programmed self to be weak in comparison to the system. This weakness resulted in causing the infraction.

2010
07/30
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Starting school in just over a month

Today was a ‘normal’ day… well in terms of nothing really happened out of the ordinary. Let’s see; What did I do today? I spent a large portion of this day producing a song on FL Studio. I experienced much fun with that — started at approximately ten (10 am) and kept  going until six (6 pm)… stopping in between a few sessions of coarse for: food, water, restroom, and also doing other stuff (checking email, YouTube) online. I also got in a few hours trimming the shrubs out in the yard.

I registered my final course for the coming University semester — “The Canadian Government” a political Science 101 class. This was cool because of the fact that the course had been full and just opened-up eight spaces this morning (Moses is attending the same school also, so when he received the email he forwarded me the tip).  Moses and I will be living together as roommates as well. The school destination (Kelowna, BC) is an approximately four-hour (4hr) drive away from my current location . At the moment I am busy establishing a few prior requirements: a place to live, income stream, finances etc. I have less than six weeks to effectively get in gear. On that note I have some planning to write-out.

I wrote-out a few Pro’s and Con’s of going to school and living with Moses:

‘Pros’:

Financial assistance in terms of another responsible for half the fees required to live. (Share books, perhaps)

Support in terms of process discussions

Unconditional feedback system. Like minded therefore assistance is natural and unconditional.

Progressive within a stable agreement… two ‘real beings’ who are practising self-honesty = which imply no tolerance toward fucking around — rather focusing at the matter at hand.

‘Cons’:

Tendency to remain limited from the perspective of comfortability within reverting to old sibling/relationship patterns.

Potentially lean on another, thus abdicating self-responsibility

A ‘scape-goat’ to manipulate or be manipulated by.

All this can be managed. I have proved for myself success in managing these points, which has actually become supportive for seeing oneself within process. So, all in all this is a cool opportunity…

Below I will place a letter I was required to submit prior to being admitted to Uni:

Letter of Academic Intent-Mature

I have been doing self-investigations and have recently looked at the following question: Where will I place myself to be an effective participant in society?

For some time I have been resistant towards attending educational / post-secondary institution(s); I have always had anxiety within a classroom setting. I experienced this anxiety during elementary school, during high school and during the few semesters I attended college. Although for some time as far as I can recall I have always had a ‘passion’ for learning. My problem was I did not like the conventional-schooling arena because of certain fearful experiences linked to my childhood; specifically how I developed various limiting beliefs… perceiving school as rather difficult, which resulted immense anxiety within me.

Self-investigation has given me perspective to allocate the primary source of this anxiety. A clue to my discovery of this fear is; how I had a difficult time expressing myself within self-integrity. This is due to my particular disposition, wherein I lacked reliable/honest reference point / support system. I did not see or experience that growing up within my family construct. So, I developed challenges expressing who I am with integrity and conviction. Moreover, I resisted being perceived as ‘inferior’ (inferiority/superiority complex) — I learned this during childhood and carried this on towards later years. I wasn’t expressive; my limited interaction with teachers and students in the classroom compounded the anxiety within me. This anxiety caused an impact in relation to the level of my achieved performance.

After leaving high school, I found alternative methods for satisfying my passion for learning… I conducted personal studies — keeping myself busy covering various topics, always within the starting-point of attaining self-interest desires or ‘trying to develop myself’ for whatever I defined to be a gratifying end result. I did not have a specific direction with regards to topics of interest (it turned out a rather broad spectrum of study). Nonetheless, I managed to improve my reading comprehension and writing along the way.

I decided that I did not require a University education thinking that I can ‘learn on my own’ so to speak. In actuality, I created a barrier for myself, attempting to avoid experiencing University.  However, on a subconscious level, I still believed that a University experience is the pre-requisite for ‘successes’ in this world. This added much conflict in terms of my general viewpoint in life. My fear and resistant towards school manifested a certain attitude: to merely survive, with no interest participating within a key role in society. Just trying to get by…  I would say to myself: “I can do my own thing; I don’t need to really interact much within the system.”

Up until approximately a year ago I realized something fascinating and ‘life-changing’. I discovered that I held an adversarial relationship with the system in which we all operate within. Meaning, I viewed myself as an irresponsible victim in the system, rather than a responsible individual who can actually affect the system in a way that is not only beneficial to me, but everyone within my local/global environment as well. I discovered that this responsibility starts with me – so as I refine my abilities I can/will develop as the physical embodiment of support to humanity. I learned one cannot contribute anything substantial to society on one’s own, a viable support system is required that one may plug-into and place oneself effectively within ones world experience.

Somewhere along the way I became interested in world affairs. I became confronted with the ‘grim’ realities currently transpiring in this world. This caused a ‘shift’ in my view; I became engulfed with gratitude and realized how fortunate I am to have access to vital resources (education, food, shelter, and health care). I started asking questions about what I can do to assist those who are not as fortunate as I. I found that first I must become a completely self-responsible being.

In actually seeing the interconnectivity of the system in terms of how it functions, there is a sense of clarity towards what action I must take.  The next step for me is to participate, develop and contribute at The University of British Columbia — to pursue studies in Politics and Law. My decision is to study Law and Politics because these topics in my view are at the ‘heart’ of the world system.  Within studying I am refining my perceptions within a broad forum – a ‘gateway’ which will lead to an effective position within the ‘system’. There I will generate resources available to do my part in making a difference.

This fear that I have had of the ‘system’, I’m actually transcending it… because now I am embracing the system (starting with University and then the world) — not within my self-interest needs, but rather considering that which is best for all (global society).  My life realisations has allowed me to see entering University as an opportunity to practically apply the knowledge and understandings I have amassed thus far… to become part of the solution towards contributing to society – making necessary adjustments as I have done and continue to do within myself. After all, knowledge without practical application is physically ineffective. I have decided the University of British Columbia is the institution I will complete my undergraduate studies at.

Nuru Andeku 29/06/10

2010
07/22
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
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